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Disclaimer

hi, how are you?

He fcking pisses me off. I dont care what anyone wanna think. What my mum think. That my mum said he's so 'kasian' cos im bad with him. Fck that ok. Just effing fck that. He's a fcking, smartass asshle. The stupid thing is; he's not smart. He just like thinking he is. Thinking he's smarter than everyone. Thinking he's better than everyone. Thinking he's in a what? Higher class than everyone?
Well, well, well. He has Zero class. At least those people he makes fun of, being lame of whatever; at least they have a living. At least they have money. Their own money. Not their parents' money. And at least they dont go around acting like their above everyone, the way he does.
My somewhat "brother" is a fcking jkass. I dont care. I stopped caring maybe even 2 years ago. But it annoys me still, that, my mum, especially, still.. what? I duno- whats me to treat him nicely or love him or whatever.
She can love him, whatever, no matter hw fcked up he is. I dont care. That's her. I guess every mother has to eyh? well, OK, i dont care about that. But as far as im concerned, he being my 'brother', sharing the same blood in our veins, sharing the same parents, house.. hell, even FACE, cos we just Had to look a like eyh?
It doesnt mean anything to me. What matters is how he treats me. What matters is what kind of person he is. Everything. I dont care about any bs 'family ties' or whatever.
He's nothing to me.
He's a fcktard. He's impatient. He's stubborn. He's an idiot. He's inconciderate. He's a jakass. And I guess the most is the fact that he's an acting smartass.
Belittles me. back when i Used to ask him about my studies... Belittles. Then just beginning of this year. Asked the ass a question. Couldn't even get the answer. And when i kept asking why? how? why this? He's the one, getting mad.
Really? After boasting? Like ''Im smart im smart im smart im smart. I know everything.'' Srsly, i just cant stand you. You think youre soo smart, you think what im doin now is soo easy. Well then, why, when you were my age, you kinda sucked. And if your so smart, why did you fail? Huh? Why did you waste not only your time, in Australia after form5, you wasted everything. You wasted our parents money. And you ruined everything.
Cos' that was when our father started being really uptight. About money... about future.. about studies, blablabla. You had to ruin it, didnt you?
But still, its not him feeling bad. He's not even smart enough to change, to know whats he suppose to do now. He's still the same. Still boasting. Still a jakass.
This mid year, he was suppose to be off to UK to continue he's study. Earlier this year; I was in the car with him. He was talking on the phone with a friend. saying and talking about goin uk blablabla. So i thought it was just fixed. Cos his course was meant for one and a half year here, one and a half year there. But, ohhh, big shocker, when he Failed his recent exam, and didnt get to go. Has to wait Another Whole year now. So, total, that around 1 and a half year wasted in Australia, and then one year wasted here. Soo, thats around 2 or 3 years. You were suppose to be 2 years a head of my sister, but yet, your just exactly at her level.
Yknow, i was happy, satisfied, i guess you could say i was evil.. when my dad was angry upon knowing that he's kinda useless only son, once again, wasted time. I was happy, yes. Cos the ass deserved it. He just thinks he's soo smart. Talk, talk, no actions, no prove.
My mum was kinda sad too. Dissapointed. But even all this... lasted about 2 weeks only. The ass spent around 2 weeks hiding around, then everything seems back to normal.
So, instead, of putting crap on him, my mum decides to put it on me. "Better study oh, Why no study? Later dont do well, me sad oh. Already koko not doing well"
Srsly, like crap on me? I understand, maybe you dont wanna seem like you dont love him anymore of whatever whatever whatever. But srsly, if he would have responded to your kindness and lightness, he wouldnt have failed for the Second time. Bloody hell, do something about it already. Cos he's never gonna change. I can tell you that for a fact. Fact. Its everything. The way he talks. The way he thinks. The stuffs he says. Hell, even the way he drive. He's a jakass, even when driving, and I fcking hate to follow him. He blablablas, says "What for want all this fancy mobile, blablabla, i rather play with car blablabla"
Speaks as if he really have his own car. Please lah.
Parents'. Money. = Parents'-car-only-with-a-jakass-driving.
Everything. He's just... fcked up.
Even the other day. Two weeks ago, family gather, cousin's wedding. Was talking about my cousin's new dog. Then blablabla, that fcktard go and say, "Wait until one more dog gone, can get a german shepard"
After that I spent my time in the car crying. He's. Just. A. Fcuking asshle who doesnt know how to think about anything. So easy for him to say. You know why? you know why he wants a big, fancy pretty expensive dog? Because its big, fancy, pretty and expensive. He doesnt actually care about having a pet. He doesnt care about playing with it, caring for it. All he cares, is that is big, and muscular, and when people come our house, sure will say like, ''Wahh" blablabla. Thats all he cares about. He doesnt even know anything about our pets.
And for him to just say that. It really pissed me off. Cos on the days when the fact that Teddy's still not here, really gets to me, I usually end up hating on my brother for being a jakass as well. Cos sometimes, he's mad, goes outside, on the way, slams the door... then kena hit something, curses loudly, blablabla, go to car, slams door, everything lah, making all those immature actions. So Teddy would always bark, cos he was the most protective. So he would bark, then the asshle would start scolding him. And that really pisses me off. What he did then, and what he said on the family gathering. Whats even more, inconsiderate. Is... that I dont think i was the only one who got really hurt and offended by it.
Cos, heres something ive never mention... 21st sep, Benji, one of the two new puppies, got missing wandering outside. I've never mention that, cos its still very much a touchy subject. So yeah, im not that attach with him, cos i didnt want to be. But my sister was. She was the one taking care of both of the new ones, etcetc. And she was sad about it.
So, yeah, for that effing jakass to say what he said, was really, him being himself.

But then, dont think thats the reason for me blogging now. Its not, really, otherwise i would have blogged then. He just angered me around an hour ago. And really, it wasnt big. I didnt end up crying about it, as i am now typing these out. Like always, i just keep my mouth shut and walk away. Cos i dont need to be around him anymore than i have to. Even if its around the TV. I dont care.
I dont care what my mum thinks. I dont care how she decides to 'raise' her only son. But if you ask me, a twenty three year old doesnt need anymore 'raising.'

Tuesday, November 2, 2010,10:40 PM | comment | 0 comment(s)