update.
4.34 pm.
im ...
sorta bored.
i should be doin something... not sure what though...
study?
go out?
watch tv?
really blog?
sleeep?
i dont know.
but, im in my room now.
main reason i brought the laptop here... was to play.
but after everything... im starting to feel a tiny weeny bit low again...
gosh, you'd think ill just give these shit up if it always makes me feel like crap...
sighs.
YOU'd THiNK.
ive been here since 3. 30... and, honestly, i Could probably find good things to do. But... im holding back. i cant get suck into stuffs ANY time SOON, till.... next, Next saturday...
sighs.
i know i should just kick myself off the lazy wagon (ahhahaha, how weird? imagine, kickin yourself off of smthg. Can kahh? bahahahah)but i cant.even if i knoww, i only needta go through this just... merely for a little over 2 weeks... then all be good... well. Sorta. cause... results... DUHH.Tomoro?? Tomoros a friday. I think i can do it...... and fo my sake, i hope i can.But, whatever, i dont wanna talk bout that too much, or bout the few test papers we got back today... all i can say is... dissapointing?A wee bit. (You'd think id be all shitty, cause, i drop like around 20 marks, and ended up having a 66... so yeahh, you can think of what i usually get yourself... this, is a first in 3 years too. I knoww, its like, "why the fcking hell NOW? i do good all the way through form 1, 2 and beginning of 3... and now you hav me worrying just few months before THE pmb?" Real shitty.But, im not that pissed. Too be frank, my attitude was... alright today, i would think, at least.Cause even though i got that low... and i was like, "Wait, is this my paper?" and blablabla...i felt to numb to really be pissed.Cause i said it already to myself before these shitty Mocks began...That i would sacrifice my others.. just to fully pass again.But...i have yet to receive what im so not so am looking anxiously forward to...Saturday, im quite sure though, ill get my chance.I felt like i did better but, again like i say, when i feel like i did better, i always did worst.But, i really do, feel like i did better.So, yeahh, we'll see if that'll turn into a "felT"im nervous, yess.and i wanna bitch out here, yesss.but, im too lazy, yess.will just see how it'll all plays out.but TRUST ME. im as nervous as anyone can be........ is just that im too numb that neither you nor me really knows that.BUT.TRUST MEEE.IM SHITTING in my PANTTSS HEREEEEE.:Dheh. heh .hehhhhhh *forced laugh*but, whatever. i dont wanna do this ... not now, or what what.... arggh, im talking so nonsense-ly, do you readers even get me? bet cha dont... wellllll yeahhh, my minds always thinking like this..... sighs, I cant even keep up with myself.but, whatever. I wanna have war!play warcraft that is... HAHAHits 4.54pm.... so... id squeeze in one game then probably around 5.30 would go out....ohh, ps. hope you ppl know that when i say "go out" it refers to "going outside, the house, as in, Just outside... outdoors.. the grass, the air.. the dogs?" yeahh? not shopping or what what... kay? kay. just thought id make myself clear. Duno why, honestly.... but yeahh, i wanna go back to how i was like 5 years ago... and it seems like i am, but, fo the fcking studies, it aint actually a good thing, but fo everything else, its pure glee.sighss. im seriously struggling fo balance and my life too make sense fo once........ i wanna do good in the studying department, but i wanna do good in the "living-life-happily-and-with-meanig'' department.but, so far, i hav yet to achieve that...................so...SCREW it :pok, OKAY!bfore i go..i wanna squeeze in a last sentence. malas be explain, (hopefully most fo you know liaw, but i realise some still dont.. HAHAH...) again, no explaination, now. Sorry, heheheheheh.just.Pam anderson, drake bell, matt dallas, and the samatha somthing(sorry, ahhahah, no idea who) in brunei last saturday.
My say?Matt dallas better as hell not be gay....pleeeasee. *tears*he's too hot.OKAY??!buaahahahhahahahahhahahahahaha!
oh, shit, its 5.04 edi.
gotta go.
Labels: up date.
Thursday, October 1, 2009,4:34 PM |
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