i dont get you, or me, for that fact.
You know what annoys me, til i become seriously irritated that tears escapes momentarily?
My parents. Seriously. They just sometimes make me feel like ripping something, and you better bet it aint gonna paper, i dont like wasting. Sighs! ... So, they just got back from school, todays report card day, bout half hour ago. We just finished havin tea. I went to the kitchen, my mum was fine... whatever, still kinda joking. So there, me, mum, and sister, my father was somewhere outside. * Oww, not coming fo tea immediately when called, hint hint; mood. So my mums just joking/asking, cause i just dropped a position, to 4th... Then, he finally comes, all quiet and blablabla... just sit there drinking/eating quietly. Aaargh, seriously, my head wanted to burst. Then my mum, aahh, kept on teasing, (if you would consider it that) to the extreme, like seriously; theres a line to draw when teasing. Like fck, ok?
Then he finishes first, and goes out again. But, before he went he asked me if i got small brush o not, i asked fo what, he said fo glue, glue as in the really liquidy yellow/brownish glue, the really sticky one. obviously, since its fo something outside. I didnt really want to give, but fine, whatever! He just got it from me anyways justnow. Whatever. He said he'll buy a new one... fine, fine, whatever. Ok, i know im makin no point, but im still feeling pain in my back, and so, i shall type whatever my mind wants...
Arrgh, i cant begin to explain/ describe.. my parents.
my dad.Hes like everyone else hes ages, he doesnt really care about nature o whatever. I mean, look what he decided to renovate the outside into; byebye grass area, on both sides of the house, some in front too... Oh, and also, one of our most oldest mango tree... Honestly, (if its not obviously) im not a fan. For months after the renovations were done, i really, didnt want to go outside, it just makes me sad, and a bit pissed. I cant explain fully, cause than it'll be my whole life on this post. People these days; concrete, fake lanscape,they prefer over the real thing that in addition, cleanse our air. No one really cares, admit it. ... cause i will too...(but not exactly in that sense)... I try my best to not be spoiled, and ingrateful, and maybe, rightnow especially, it might seem like im just a little bitchy brat. And maybe, i am, you tell me... but im seriously trying not too. I mean, i dont ask my mum to give me allowance everytime, and when she does, i say no need... i really, really restrict myself from wasting money on clothes and all those, like i used to, i mean, honestly, i havent bought much, or atleast nothing very expensive in a long time... these days, my most bought things are books. And that of course, that, my parents encourage. ...Sometimes my mum trys to spoil me a bit too much, and im seriously grateful that she can actually spoil me, but i dont wanna be spoil. I try my best, but somethings, the things we say, just never seem to applied to some thing in particular.
my mum.aa, she just seriously can drive me crazy. Shes the one who makes me pissed the most. She just takes teasing too, too far this days. I know im an over sensitive kid, and of course, she knows that too, she is my mum. It used to be really bad lastime, when i was younger, i used to cry almost evrytime, even in public; restuarant, etc. my mum was always mad at me fo it, and i dont blame her, i would be too. But i cant stop. The more i order my myself to stop, the louder and more uncontrolable my sobbings become, haha, like now......... But i guess, its better these days, my older, the most crying i do is in my room, haha, once again, like now........ Honestly, im just not one who can take teasings lightly, sorry, but hey, im sorry fo myself too. Im short tempered and over sensitive.
my working on it, kay?
*breaths* Anyways, moving on... I actually havent seen or even touched my report card. I saw it on the dining table earlier. Figured to leave it there fo the time being.sighs.Anyways, im not even sure whether my dads moody cause of that, but i dont really think so, cause justnow he did ask whose in 1st and 2nd in a normal-him way too.. in a more teasing way, not angry or anything, but, i really dont know why he's all silent.
i mean, im like that too sometimes, reasons why sometimes i piss my mum off. Heritage i guess. but its not like he goes to school, cause the only thing that makes me silently pissed is usually school stuffs or stuffs that i dont tell them, and the only place they went justnow was school, cause they got back real fast. Cause i thought they would buy pizza, they were talkin bout it before they left.
sighs. but i guess i really dont know. ill just stay here til everything, including me, cools down. And im quite "cooled down" already... i stopped crying thats fo one, im listening to songs... and im just quietly typing. Hm, kelly clarkson-breakaway. ha! fit the situation much. lol.... anyways... I was actually, goin to blogged earlier justnow, like after they just left to go school... i brought my laptop to my room and everything, everything was so nice. Caln weather too, like want rain, but never does. the sitting room was all quiet too, cause since the parents went, only little home; me, sister, and ama. and since sisters upstairs in her room studying i guess, everywhere downstairs was, nice. So, i started with playing around with my webcam, taking pictures of my room, and planned to post em here, just to give any of you the feel, of the time... And of course ive taken em already, but now, i really dont feel like post em, maybe later on, at night. We'll see how it goes. But it all should be fine. I behaved myself, a bit i guess justnow. Its not like i cried in front of them, or act really pissed, that all come only when i was typing them here... rewinding. And i dont think he has anything really to be sad about or dissappointed or whatever... i know majority, my subject marks dropped. Only around 1 went up, but, its not like i did really bad. My class average just dropped about 3~5 or smthg marks. The only thing that made me sad was my malay. I only got a 58. thats the first time i got lower that 60 since two years ago... and yeah, it sucks, and i couldnt stop complaining, sorry about tat btw to those id complaint too, i couldnt stop myself.... i know i probably deserved that mark, and all the dropping of my subjects, cause that term my preparation was kinda bad... but im happy to pass. (Besides, in the report, my malay is still 62, thanks to my past term exams and assignment marks probably.) And that my class average is still 80+. im satisfied, for now at least. But, i will do better for coming exam in august, i will.
So, yeah, i dont know whats my father's problem now, or justnow, blablabla, but..... (and im saying this with respect), im sure im doin way better than he did when he was my age. Sorry, but aint it true? my mum was smarter than my dad, thats why her pay was higher too. And, seriously, i didnt do that bad. So, why? Sorry i dropped to 4th again, but i deserved to drop, and i know it... but doesnt mean i wont do anything about it.
Seriously, i rather you not worry about me. Labels: ...
Saturday, July 11, 2009,4:44 PM |
comment |
0 comment(s)
